


This Wasn't Supposed to Happen

by I_Was_Going_To_Hell_Anyways



Series: Cancer is a bitch, but I'll fight it for you [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Beta Wanted, Car Accidents, Character Death, Character Turned Into a Ghost, College Student, Death, Death from Car Crash, Death in Childbirth, Drunk Driving, Gay Male Character, Gen, Ghost Characters, Ghosts, Hospitalization, Hospitals, Implied/Referenced Death in Childbirth, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Not Beta Read, Not Really Character Death, Past Character Death, Suicide, Surgery, Temporary Character Death, just a shit ton of death, slit wrists, slitting wrists
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-18
Updated: 2018-06-19
Packaged: 2019-05-24 21:02:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14962118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_Was_Going_To_Hell_Anyways/pseuds/I_Was_Going_To_Hell_Anyways
Summary: I'm dead. All I know is that I died while the surgeons were still operating on me at the hospital. I need to figure out what's going on and why I'm here. I thought that there wasn't anything after death. I was wrong.





	1. Call It

**Author's Note:**

> Hullo hullo! Thanks for actually clicking this! This is something I started to write during a writing summer camp. We were able to choose whatever we wanted for our end of camp writing presentation. I decided that because I already have a few characters that I feel comfortable writing for that I'd write about Jesse. I love him, I swear. Anyways, I plan to write about the events that happen up to the point that he meets Chance (another character). I want to aim for around 1,000 words per chapter, and I know that this one isn't completely there, so I'm sorry about that! I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it! 
> 
>  
> 
> (Also, I don't have a beta reader so if anyone would be willing to do that for me I would be forever grateful!)  
> (I'm also still figuring out how to format it correctly so please bear with me)

“Call it,” A voice rung out, muddled and hard to hear over the panic that was filling my head. “Time of death, 4:52:11, internal hemorrhaging due to blunt force trauma to the torso, ” and I was gone.  
It didn’t hurt exactly, not like it should have at least. I couldn’t see, couldn’t see what I assumed was a mangled body with no hope of surviving fade away while surgeons tried desperately to prevent the inevitable.  
At least I won’t have those memories to haunt the rest of my...well, life isn’t the right word. ‘Afterlife’ just sounds stupid though, so maybe ‘existence’ would be a better word. It wasn’t a perfect fit, but I couldn’t find myself to care about that.  
I was just floating. No voice, no name, and no reason to still be here. So why was I? I don’t believe in anything after death, no one in my family does.

I feel numb  


There’s nothing here  


I want to go home  


I just want my family  


Mom  
Dad  
Alex

...I’m sorry

I didn’t do it on purpose, I swear. It wasn’t my fault. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I was just going out to see friends. I’m sorry I didn’t ask to use the car. I guess you can’t use it now, sorry about that. I didn’t see them coming. I was doing exactly what you taught me, all those years ago. I can still remember the first time sitting behind the wheel. It didn’t hurt that time. It hurt so much. I’m sorry, I tried to hold on, I promise. It didn’t work.  
Mom, say sorry to Dad for me. I know he liked that car. Dad, please take care of Mom and Alex for me, I don’t think I’ll be able to anymore. And Alex, I’m sorry. I know I promised I would take you out to see that movie you’d been waiting for. Maybe Mom and Dad can take you to it? 

Why me?  
I was doing everything right  
I think they were drinking  
Or maybe texting?  
Why me?

A light, so warm it was almost searing hot, but still, I went to it. Despite the heat, it was comforting and I felt less alone even though I knew I still was. The warmth reminded me of the warm summer days when we could convince Dad to come with us to the lake. Dad, Alex, Mom, and I all down by the lake. Chomping on sticky watermelon and swimming in the too cold water. The memory leaves somewhat of a bitter taste in my mouth. It was fun, some of the best days of my life were those when we were down by the lake. It couldn’t be like that again.  
Still, I clung to the warmth as if I feared that it would dissipate if I released it from my hold. I don’t know how long I stayed there, coiled around the warm light like the vipers in the zoo we used to visit. The only thing I do know is the longer I held the heat close the more things came back to me.  
Mundane things really. Things I used to eat for breakfast. Going biking around the neighborhood with Alex. Trying, and failing, to bake a cake for Dad’s birthday. Singing with Mom as we drove down to pick up groceries. Even though all of them were relatively happy memories, they all left me feeling worse. I couldn’t have that again.

Maybe they’re okay?  
Mom can still sing in the car  
Dad can still have cake  
Alex can still go biking

The more memories poured out of the light and into me the brighter the light got. Soon it seemed to almost fill the whole void with its light. ‘Void’ probably couldn’t be used to describe the place I was in anymore. Void is used to describe something dark, dreary, and unknown. And while it was still an unknown place to me, it was no longer dark nor dreary.  
Time continued to pass, or maybe it didn’t. For all I knew, years could be going by between each breath that didn’t even need to happen. There was nothing I could do about that though. All I could do was wait.  


Wait and deal with the memories thrown at me. As much as they hurt, they were something I needed. Because with each one that came back to me, a sense of self came back. Almost like I was relearning who I was. I was...am Jesse Mckay.


	2. Not Alone

My name is Jesse McKay and I’m dead. I died because of a car crash. The metal of the car curled around me in a deadly embrace. I didn’t die on impact, but I did go into shock. The emergency response team had to pry me out of what would have been my final resting place. It wasn’t my fault. The other driver had been drunk, or maybe they had been texting. I’m not sure. They got to walk away fine. I hadn’t been so lucky.  


The light changed. There was no longer a burning sensation and the lights seemed less harsh. Less like what I’d been surrounded with and more like the artificial lights that were in my old house. Looking around, I realized I wasn’t where I was before. There were things, like actual things. Chairs and coffee tables and rugs. I’d been here before, but I couldn’t place it.  


Alex. I’d been here before because of Alex. He’d broken his arm and I had had to drive him to the hospital while Mom kept an eye on him in the backseat. Dad met us there. I can still remember how worried he was. That’s where I was, the hospital. Well, the waiting room to be more specific. I had only ever been in the waiting room...except that’s not right. I died in the hospital. I had been inside an operating room. If only for a small amount of time.  


“Hello?” I called to the empty room, not expecting a response. Still, it made sense to do it.  


“Oh! Guys, we’ve got another one!” An unfamiliar voice called out, causing me to yelp in surprise.  


“Ah, he looks pretty bad, doesn’t he?” Another voice gasped, this one more feminine than the previous.  


“Poor kid probably hasn’t figured out how to change to back before.” The first voice said again, something akin to pity in their voice.  


Then they appeared. Two people, one looked like a college student, scruffy blond hair, and tired green eyes. The other looked like a mom, or, at least a middle-aged woman, dark hair with a few strands of grey mixed in. Her eyes were a steel grey, but they still seemed warm and inviting.  


“What’s going on? Who are you people? Where am I?” I couldn’t stop the stream of questions from flowing out of my mouth to float in the quiet air above us.  


Laughter bubbled out of the man’s mouth, “Woah, woah! Easy there, kid. How ‘bout we start with names? Then we’ll answer your questions, I promise,” He finished with a small smile carved into his face.  


No one spoke for a minute, each of us expecting the other to introduce themselves first. The awkward feeling that filled the room was suffocating. This was the reason I only had two close friends when I was alive. Far less awkward moments like this. I miss them.  


The woman cleared her throat, “My name is Elizabeth, but everyone here just calls me Eliza. It makes it easier.” The faintest smile was on her lips. The tips just barely upturned.  


“Oh...hi Elizabe-Eliza…” I mumbled, trailing off. My eyes pointed at the floor like it was the most interesting thing I had ever seen.  


“And I’m Ian! I don’t exactly have a nickname like Eliza, so you can just call me well...Ian.” The man–Ian said, his voice slowly getting less confident with each passing second.  


“Uh...hi Ian?” I said it more like a question and I couldn’t help but mentally slap myself, “My name’s Jesse.”  


Eliza and Ian both smiled at this. Their grins were contagious and a smile made its way onto my face as well. The tension that had filled the room lessened, not completely but enough that I could breathe easier.  


“Well, Jesse, how’d you get here?” He asked, putting emphasis on my name.  


“I died? Is that not how you got here? Speaking of which, where is here?”  


Ian chuckled, a soft and happy sound, “That’s how we all got here. I meant more of a how did you die. If you don’t want to talk about it I understand though. My death is a pretty sore subject, too.” He said, voice slowly becoming less joyful the longer he talked.  


“Oh…” I thought for a moment, trying to figure out how much I actually wanted to share with him, “I died because of a car crash. I was bleeding internally and well...the doctors couldn’t save me.”  
,/p>

Ian looked at me. There wasn’t pity in his eyes but there was understanding. I felt grateful for that. I didn't need pity. What happened happened and I couldn't change anything about it.  


“I died in this hospital, too. That's why I'm here. It's why everyone who's here is here. We're tied to here somehow.” Ian spoke softly, eyes downcast.  


I wanted to ask why or how, but based on the way Ian acted, he didn’t know either. I looked over to Eliza. She wore the same expression as her companion. Either they don’t actually know, or they’re both really good actors. I’m not sure which option was more disconcerting.  


I looked over to Eliza, “You too? What happened?” I asked.  


Ian sounded like his death was a sore subject, or he at least just didn’t want to talk about. Which I understand. I left out details about my own passing. Eliza, however, didn’t look too perturbed. Her eyes were calm and steady and the remains of a smile were still on her face.  


“Oh...I passed away in childbirth. My baby made it though and that’s all I wanted,” She said quietly. I couldn’t hear any sadness or despair in her voice, only hope.  


“How do you know?” I blurted out before I could even stop myself.  


I cringed at my choice of words and question as a whole. That’s not something you ask someone. You don’t ask ‘Oh hey, are you sure that your baby didn’t die?’ Because that’s totally messed up.  
I glanced up to look at Eliza, face burning in shame and embarrassment. She didn’t look offended. Instead, a small, wistful smile had found its way onto her face. She looked me in eye, effectively locking me in place.  


“Jesse,” she said, making sure she had my attention, “I would know if my baby had come with me because she would be here, too, but she’s not. I’m happy for her and I’m glad she can meet her dad,” She sighed and I realized just how tired she actually looked, “I...I just wish I had gotten to meet her.” Only now did her voice have a sad undertone.  


“Oh...Eliza...I’m sorry,” I said with a slightly shaking voice, “I’m sure she’s great...What...What’s her name?”  


Our conversation was interrupted by Ian clearing his throat. I almost wanted to thank him. I wasn’t sure how you were supposed to deal with someone crying about their child not dying. I’d have to get him a cookie or something if they even have those here.  


“I know that Jesse being here is cool and all, but we should probably take him to the others and maybe show him how to change,” Ian said, bringing a hand up and running it through his already messy blond hair.

**Author's Note:**

> Come yell at me on Tumblr: https://completelyclevername.tumblr.com/


End file.
